top of page

Ditch the word failure and enjoy more success with your goals and New Year resolutions

Claire Richmond

Updated: Jan 20, 2024

A sign relating to achieving our goals.  We can stay where we are and do nothing. We can do what we've done before and hope for a different outcome. Or we can try a new way.

I’m currently doing a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) course and one of the presuppositions that rang a bell with me is this: there are no failures, only outcomes. In short, every action we take produces a result. If it’s the result we want, great. If it isn’t, we can see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Because when we take an honest look at why we didn't get the result we wanted, try a different approach and – eventually - get the outcome we do, that’s growth. And progress. And happiness. And success. It rang a bell with me because it reminded me of the famous Thomas Edison quote about his quest to invent the lightbulb over 100 years ago: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” That’s the thing about goals. They’re not easy. They take time and effort (10,000 attempts in Edison's case). Sometimes pain and sacrifice. It’s important to remember this when thinking of our goals and New Year resolutions - and it's worth asking ourselves a few questions. Especially if our goals and resolutions are of the ‘deja vu’ kind - ie the ones that come around again and again, year after year. How much do we really want them? What lengths are we prepared to go to in order to achieve them?  What are we prepared to change, give up, endure, etc? How far out of our comfort zone are we willing to go?   What have we tried before that didn’t produce the outcome we wanted? What are we prepared to do differently this time? What support do we need? Because life, circumstances and ingrained habits and beliefs can knock our ambitious goals, dreams and resolutions off course. If this happens, we have a choice. We can say we’ve failed, feel disappointed, beat ourselves up and give up. Or we can remember that there are no failures, only outcomes, and adopt Thomas Edison’s approach: learn from what didn’t work, adjust our course, try something different and keep going. For as long as it takes. And as Thomas Edison said: “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this – you haven’t… The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Because it’s that ‘one more time’ that will eventually give us the outcome we want – and make all our previous efforts and attempts worthwhile. By seeing things from this perspective, by ditching the word failure and replacing it with outcomes and results, we can approach our goals and resolutions with optimism, determination and a commitment to keep learning, growing, moving forwards and suceeding. No matter what. Have a happy 2024 and be kind to yourself if things don’t go quite as planned. Because as Akuppa, one of the teachers at the Newcastle Buddhist Centre, said on BBC Radio 4's Thought for the Day on 29.12.23:

"Kindness opens the way for communication. It frees the way for real change. It’s not easy and it takes time but it’s possible. Letting go of bitterness is deeply liberating.... Kindness, extraordinarily, is our greatest strength." Do you need support to achieve a goal or a New Year resolution? If you do, book a free, introductory session to find out how LifeCoaching could provide that support https://calendly.com/thelifecoachforyou/lifecoaching-free-taster-session Testimonials: https://www.thelifecoachforyou.com/testimonials

 

Comments


bottom of page