What’s stopping you from going after you want? What stumbling blocks are getting in the way of your goals, dreams and desires?
Some of the most common ones are lack of time, confidence or motivation; fear of failing – and everything that failure might bring with it, from financial insecurity to low self esteem; fear of succeeding; fear of change; fear of rejection and of the unknown; indecision and doubt.
Is it any wonder that we sometimes prefer to stay in our comfort zone? To leave things as they are?They might not be perfect but better the devil you know, right?
Ask yourself this though. How will you feel in one, two, five or ten years time if nothing has changed? If things are exactly the same?
Now close your eyes and imagine how you’d feel if you got over your stumbling blocks and achieved your exciting goals, pursued your wildest dreams and fulfilled your secret desires? This is 100% blue sky thinking. There isn’t a dark cloud in sight. And if one comes along in the shape of a pesky little ‘yes but’ thought, just flick it away. Because you can. And go back to imagining how you’d feel if you achieved your goals and went after your dreams. What would your life look like? What would you be doing? Who would you be with? And what’s the soundtrack of your success? Tina Turner’s ‘Simply the Best’? Elton John’s ‘I’m Still Standing’? Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop me Now’?
My guess is that you might have a smile on your face at this point. And that’s great. Because here’s the good news. When we know what our stumbling blocks are, we can work on them, get over them or break them down into stepping stones that will get from where we are to where we want to be in our life.
Say you’ve always wanted to run a marathon, raise money for charity and get fit in the process; change jobs; start a business; write a book; find a partner, walk the Pennine Way or travel across the United States in a camper van. The stumbling blocks of fear, lack of time, lack of money, low self confidence or self doubt might seem insurmountable. And the words we associate with them - like ‘I can’t’, ‘it’s impossible’, ‘it’s too hard’, it will never happen’, ‘it’s crazy thinking’ – cement the stumbling blocks together.
So keep your eye on the prize. Imagine how you’ll feel when you’ve achieved your goal. Then break your stumbling blocks down into small, stepping stones that you can get over easily. Because that will keep you moving forwards.
If it’s a big stumbling block that's been around for years, there might be a lot of stepping stones. If you want to run a marathon, for example, and you’ve never run before, you might have to figure out how to enter a marathon (ballot, charity, etc) – and then enter it. Buy a pair of running shoes, do some research on running techniques for beginners, find a running buddy, make the time to train each week, get some support, etc, etc.
By breaking down the stumbling block and taking the small achievable steps towards your goal each week though, you get glimpses of what’s on the other side. And you start to feel excited. And that keeps you going. One stepping stone at a time. Over your doubts, through the ups and downs of training and towards your dream.
When you run out of motivation along the way, remember Zig Ziglar’s quote: “Motivation is like a bath - the effects don't last forever which is why it has to be done daily”. So when the chips are down, think of what will motivate you to keep going. It might be the image of a squirrel that's determined to reach the bird feeder, no matter what. Or the words of a song, like Labi Siffre’s ‘Something Inside So Strong’; Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ or Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’. It might be a motivational quote, the support of a group, a chat with a partner or the hug of a close friend. Whatever resonates with you.
Change any negative thoughts and words like I can’t, it’s impossible, etc into positive ones (as we get what we focus on) and keep going.
Because the great thing about stumbling blocks is that they are also opportunities for growth. They teach us how to be creative and resourceful. To think out of the box. To find new solutions which can lead to unexpected breakthroughs (think of the relentless determination of that squirrel!) And when we break them down and achieve a goal, we learn from our successes and any wrong turns along the way and discover inner strengths that we didn’t know we had.
We also realise that as we’ve done it once we can use that knowledge, awareness, courage, resourcefulness and inner strength to do it again. And again. And again. We can turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones to pave the way to our goals - or into building blocks that help us build the life we want.
And that shift in perspective, in mindset and in the words we associate with our goals, encourages us to go after more of them. Which means that in one, two, five or ten years time life will be completely different.
So going back to my first question: What’s stopping you from going after you want? What stumbling blocks are getting in the way of your goals, dreams and desires?
And what one thing can you do today that will get you a step closer to your goal, dream or desire?
Do it and then take another step tomorrow. And keep going. Because if it’s something you really want, you can do it, one step at a time.
Coffee and Coaching in Chiswick, W4. Join me to for a free introductory session to find out how lifecoaching works and how it can help you turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Book here. www.thelifecoachforyou.com
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